Some leave requests are straightforward. Someone wants two weeks in August. You check the calendar, approve it, done.
Compassionate leave is different. It usually arrives without warning. The person asking is almost certainly having one of the worst days of their life. And you, as the employer, have to respond in a way that's both humane and practical, often without a policy to guide you.
This post covers what compassionate leave is, what UK law actually says (it's less than you might think), how much time is reasonable to offer, and how to handle these situations in a way that looks after your people without leaving your business in the lurch.
What is compassionate leave?
Compassionate leave is time off given to an employee to deal with a serious personal or family situation, most commonly the death of a close family member, but it can also cover situations like a partner or child being seriously ill, or a family emergency of similar gravity.
It's sometimes called bereavement leave, though technically bereavement refers specifically to death, while compassionate leave can be broader.
The key thing to understand is that compassionate leave is a discretionary benefit in the UK. There is no general statutory right to paid compassionate leave for adults. Your obligation as an employer is largely defined by your own policy (or lack of one).
What does UK law actually say?
This surprises a lot of employers. The UK does not have a general legal entitlement to paid bereavement leave, except in one specific circumstance.
Parental Bereavement Leave is the exception. Since April 2020, employees have a statutory right to two weeks' paid leave if their child dies under the age of 18, or if they suffer a stillbirth after 24 weeks of pregnancy. This is a day-one right and applies regardless of how long the employee has worked for you.
Outside of that, the law is less clear-cut. Employees do have a right to time off for dependants, but this is specifically for emergencies involving a dependant (a spouse, partner, child, parent, or someone who depends on the employee for care). It covers things like a sudden illness or a breakdown in care arrangements. Crucially, this right is to unpaid time off, and it's intended to deal with the immediate situation, not extended leave.
So in practice, for the bereavement of a parent, sibling, grandparent, close friend, or anyone who isn't a dependant in the legal sense, there is no statutory floor. What you offer is entirely up to you.
What do most employers offer?
Because the law sets such a low floor, common practice varies quite a bit. But for small businesses, a reasonable and commonly seen approach is:
- 3 to 5 days of paid leave for the death of an immediate family member (partner, parent, child, sibling)
- 1 to 3 days for a grandparent, close friend, or other significant relationship
- Discretion to offer more in exceptional circumstances, particularly for long-serving employees or when the relationship was especially close
The important word here is discretion. Rather than a rigid entitlement, many small employers handle compassionate leave case by case, and that's not a bad approach, provided you apply it consistently and with empathy.
What you want to avoid is being so vague that an employee doesn't know where they stand at the worst possible moment.
Why having a policy matters
When someone loses a family member, the last thing they should have to do is negotiate with their employer about how many days off they're entitled to.
A clear compassionate leave policy means:
- The employee knows what to expect before they even have to ask
- You as the employer don't have to make a difficult call under emotional pressure
- You can demonstrate that you treat your people consistently and fairly
Your policy doesn't need to be long. A few paragraphs covering who it applies to, how much leave is offered in different circumstances, and whether it's paid or unpaid is enough. We've covered how to write a full absence policy for small businesses in a separate post: How to create a staff absence policy for your small business. Compassionate leave should have its own section in that document.
How to handle a compassionate leave request well
Beyond the policy, there's the human side. Here are some things worth keeping in mind.
Respond quickly and warmly. When someone tells you a family member has died, the response to lead with is human, not administrative. Acknowledge what they've told you before you say anything about leave.
Don't make them ask twice. Once you know what's happened, proactively tell them they're approved for leave and to take what they need. Don't wait for a formal request.
Be flexible on duration. Your policy sets a starting point, not a ceiling. If someone needs an extra day to attend a funeral that's been moved, or to travel to family, use your judgement. Being generous costs very little and means a great deal.
Think about the return. Coming back to work after bereavement can be difficult. A brief, informal check-in on the employee's first day back (not a formal welfare meeting, just a quiet word) goes a long way.
Keep records without making it feel clinical. You should log compassionate leave separately from annual leave and sickness. This protects both you and the employee: it ensures the time off doesn't eat into their holiday entitlement, and it gives you an accurate picture of absence across the team. A simple leave management tool like Absently handles this without you having to think about it.
What about bereavement for pets?
You might find this one comes up more than you expect. There's no legal obligation to offer any leave for pet bereavement, and it's not covered by any statutory right. But attitudes are shifting. Some employers now include it in their compassionate leave policy as a discretionary day or two, particularly for employees who live alone and whose pet was a significant part of their life.
It's entirely your call. If you do decide to include it, be consistent about how you apply it.
A quick summary
Compassionate leave in the UK is largely discretionary, except for parental bereavement leave, which is a statutory right. As a small employer, the most important things you can do are: have a clear policy so people know what to expect, respond with warmth when someone needs it, and use your judgement generously. These situations are rare, but how you handle them is remembered for a long time.
If you're building out your HR policies for a small team, our guide to writing a staff absence policy is a good companion to this post. And if you're still tracking leave in a spreadsheet, Absently makes it easy to log compassionate leave separately, so it never gets muddled with annual leave or sickness.